Options. Aren’t they wonderful?! I mean, I can go to any restaurant and tell them I want this instead of that, and they will bring it to me the way that I want it. Likewise, I can go to any department store with the intent to buy just a regular black pair shoes and guess what I will find? A massive amount of options! I can decide today that I want to start a new career by going back to school, and that, my friend, becomes options on top of options. Almost limitless.
Truth is, it feels good to have a choice, but when faced with too many options, you can become distracted from the main thing or worse, get overwhelmed. All the pressure could force you to make a decision that you are not ready to make, or leave you with the feeling of being unsatisfied because you want to know what all the other choices are like too.
Let’s face it. Our world has conditioned us to expect options. In fact, isn’t there a slogan floating around out there that says, “You can never have too many options.” Welllll, that’s not entirely true–especially when it comes to marriage.
The problem today is that we don’t take all the options off of the table when we say, “I do.” We get married and still have a “b, c, and d” in the back our minds.
Option b: If this doesn’t work out, then I can find somebody else.
Option c: If he/she doesn’t want to love me, then I can find somebody else.
Option d: If he/she won’t talk to me, then I can find somebody who will.
Too many options can be very dangerous within a marriage, and just know that sometimes, too many is just one.
When getting married and while being married, the following statements should be at play in a healthy way:
- There is no other one for me, but my spouse.
- There is no other option but for me to love you in this and through this because I said that I would.
- There is no other option but to pursue forever with you because I chose you and I will choose you everyday.
- There is no other option but to be there for you as my spouse.
Now, by no means am I saying that you should stay stuck in a manipulative, abusive or destructive marriage (physically, mentally or emotionally), but I am saying that too many other healthy marriages that have the potential to be powerful and long-lasting are short-lived because one of both spouses chose to keep options on the table.
I am not talking about an obsessive, stalkerish, crazy kinda love either. I am talking about two totally sane and mature individuals who made a commitment to love, to comfort, to honor, to keep their spouse in sickness and in health, to forsake all others, and to be faithful as long as they both shall live. So, even when it gets hard and frustrating, we must dig deeper and say, there is no other option but to remain committed to my man or woman.
Yes, sometimes, people need to go and get out especially when their life and health are in danger, but most times, most times couples just need to learn how to stay and fight for their forever by removing the options that were left on the table.
marryingtostaymarried 